How Much Does it Cost? How Are We Paying for It?

I have been putting off writing this post since I started this blog. I don't like to talk about money (who does?), but if someone considering adoption is reading this blog, it might help them make a decision.

When I first asked a friend how much an adoption cost, I was floored. When she told me they were prepared to spend upwards of $30,000 to adopt from Ethiopia, I couldn't believe it. Phillip's response was, "They sure make it hard to help." That's what I was feeling, too. At the time, I wasn't fully surrendered to the idea of adoption, and really didn't know how we'd ever come up with that kind of money. And adopting from Ethiopia is one of the more economical countries from which to adopt!

After we decided to follow God's plan and jump in, we had to decide exactly where to adopt from, and finances definitely played a part in our decision. After much prayer, we decided to adopt domestically, and not to use an agency. Going through an agency for a domestic adoption could still cost us between $15,000 and $20,000, which is really more than 2 school teachers can afford right now! We are hoping to adopt privately and keep the cost under $8,000. Here are the things we're doing to pay for our adoption.

• We opened up a separate savings account at a bank other than our "regular" bank. I didn't want to be tempted to touch the adoption money for other things.
  
• I have been cutting back on everything I possibly can. I am a notorious clothes, shoe, and handbag fanatic, but I haven't purchased anything new that wasn't absolutely necessary since the spring. I also went as long as I could without coloring my hair, but once it began looking like it belonged on a scarecrow, I gave in! I've also been clipping coupons, watching the weekly circulars, and trying to only buy what we need at the grocery, which is very difficult!
  
• I am privately tutoring a student every afternoon. This opportunity just fell into my lap one day as I was walking through the school office, proving to me that God will provide.
  
• I don't go to Murfreesboro to shop at Target like I used to. The last time I went, I spent $50, all on necessities, like paper towels and razor blades. A year ago I couldn't get out of there for under $200, and I usually went once a month!
• I took lots of clothes to our local consignment sale rather than give the clothes away.
  
• My amazing friend, Leanne McCullough, has been my biggest cheerleader and fund raiser. She takes beautiful pictures, and her new lifestyle photography business is really taking off. She and I planned a "Summer Fun" photo shoot. Many of our friends brought their kids to our house to play in the sprinkler, jump on the trampoline, and eat popsicles and watermelon, all while Leanne took pictures. Each session lasted about 30 minutes, and Leanne took some of the most beautiful pictures, some of which (my favorites) you saw at the top of this post. We're doing another photo shoot this Saturday at a pumpkin patch, and another for Christmas card pictures next month.
  
• We will be having a yard and bake sale October 22nd. We will take your junk!
  
• Leanne and I will be making fudge and peanut brittle to sell between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Place your orders now!

For now, this is what we have planned. We will do more in the spring, I'm sure. I have no worries about paying for this adoption. I know God wouldn't have placed me on this path without providing the means to finish the journey.

Ashley

Names, Names, Names!

It just hit me this week that we need to find some names for our baby. We don't know if we have 9 months to decide on a name, so we'd better have a few in our pockets just in case we get "the call." I have one boy's name and one girl's name that I've been throwing around in my head, but when Phillip said them out loud with our last name, I'm not sure I liked them so much. Now I"m blank for names.

So, precious blog followers, I need your help. Leave me a comment with your name suggestions. If we pick yours for the baby, I just might let you hold him/her :) Here are my baby naming rules:

1. Whatever the first name, that is what the baby will be called. No nicknames, shortened names, or going by middle names in this house. Lesson learned from Phillip's brother.
2. It has to sound "right" with King at the end. Some names just don't. Anything ending in a "k" sound sounds like a verb. Example- Blake King(I love this name, btw)- "I think I'll do some blaking tonight." Also, many names ending in vowel sounds do the same.
3. It must be spelled the traditional way. No Ashlee, Ashlie, or Ashleigh around here. I don't want my kid to have to spell his/her name every time someone else has to write it down. I had to do that with my own last name growing up and hated it.
4. It must sound good with "President of the United States" in front of it. I have high expectations for my kids.

If you think you're up to the challenge (I know, I like rules), then leave a comment. Some sweet snuggle time could be in your near future!

Still praying-

Ashley

Home Study PaperWORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I finished it all about 2 weeks ago. I never imagined getting together the papers to adopt would be so time consuming, but it was. It took me about 6 weeks to finish, and I wasn't even working! I cannot imagine trying to get it all together while teaching school and living life. Here's the list of everything I gathered for the home study, and where I had to go to get it if I didn't have it already.

• Certified birth certificates for every member of the family (health department)
• Marriage license (Rutherford County Clerk's office)
• Financial information form
• Copy of driver's license (I forgot this one- oops!)
• Copy of front page of federal tax returns for the last 3 years
• Statement from bank stating how long we have been customers, that we are in good standing, and the current balance in savings and checking accounts
• Letter from employer stating job title, length of employment, salary, and probability of continued employment
• 4 letters of recommendation (3 from non-family members and 1 from a family member) stating how they know us, how long they have known us, what kind of people we are, and what kind of parents we would be to a child we adopt
• Medical forms for each adoptive parent and for any child in the home (4 doctor's visits!)
• FBI fingerprinting (a place in town does this)
• Residential history form
• Vaccination record for any pets in the house
• Copy of water bill
• Home study agreement form
• Home study release form
• Confidential disclosure forms on members of the household over 12 years old
• Picture of the family

WHEW! It definitely was a lot, but it will be worth it. We also had our first visit with the social worker this morning at 8:30! That is so early for us at the end of the summer. She came to the house, interviewed all 4 of us, and looked around the house. She didn't look in the closets (that would have been okay- you all know Phillip) or look to see if the bathtubs were clean (that wouldn't have been okay- you all know me). She was super nice about everything, and I think we came off as pretty decent people!

We have one more visit with the social worker, and then we will begin working to find our baby. I pray for our baby and his/her mother daily, hoping they are safe and that they will find their way to us sooner rather than later.

Love-

Ashley

Surrendered

I stopped by a friend's house yesterday to drop off some Cd's I had borrowed and ended up staying for a chat with her and her husband. They asked how the adoption process was going for us, and it was really nice to be able to openly talk about everything involved. We talked, I cried, we prayed, we talked some more- just one of those times that really makes you glad to be in that moment. I had mentioned something I heard a reality show participant say, that God laughs at our plans, and said that God had really laughed at mine to stop at 2 kids! But since I accepted His will for me, I haven't had any doubts about what is happening in my life. As I said the word "accepted" my friend's husband said "surrendered." I had not thought about that word in my relationship to God, but there couldn't be a more perfect one to describe how I feel towards Him right now. I know that His plan will be revealed to our family and I trust Him completely.

I'm working on the home study paperwork and am close to being finished. When it is done, I will post about it. You might be surprised at how much is involved!

Surrendered-
Ashley

Car Talk

This picture is of Grant and his best friend, Tommy. It was taken over a year ago, after their first baseball game of the season. These two crack me up. They've been friends since they were babies and can go months without seeing each other and pick up right where they left off. Rarely do they argue over anything and play dates are always successful. So we took Tommy to the ball field with us last night. Grant's team played the late game, but he wanted to watch the game before so we went early. After picking Tommy up, we were in the car driving to get a bite to eat and the boys were talking. Tommy and his family had been out of town the night before to look at a boat for sale and had stayed in a hotel. We talked about jumping on the beds because that's what our family always does the minute we set foot in a hotel room. Grant asked Tommy, "Why did you guys have to stay in hotel last night?" Tommy replied, "We're thinking about buying a boat." To which Grant replied, "We're thinking about buying a baby!" Once I stopped laughing, I explained to Grant that we weren't buying a baby, we were adopting a baby and there's a difference. I guess he's heard me talk about how expensive the adoption process is and how we really need to watch what we spend. We're saving every possible penny right now to bring this baby into our home. Grant must equate that with "buying a baby." I'll never forget that one!

Baby Steps

I emailed the social worker about our home study the other day, and she emailed me back with this attached to the email. It's the application to get a home study packet. That's right. You have to apply to GET a home study packet. So basically, you have to apply to apply to adopt a child. Whew! Just one of many baby steps in our giant leap of faith.

Meet the Family!

ASHLEY

LIKES: Mexican food, Sam Elliott's mustache, going to church, TN Titans football, bald men in reading glasses, Jackson's dimples, Grant's freckles, sugar

DISLIKES: apathy, pepsi, long fingernails on guys, unloading the dishwasher

PHILLIP

LIKES: TN Vols football, history, texting, Chicago Cubs baseball, Prince, a wife with long hair, bacon

DISLIKES: healthy food, facebook, talking on the phone, clutter, musicals

GRANT

LIKES: Star Wars, math, reading in bed, baseball, making his own turkey sandwich, swordfights, root beer, anything homemade to eat, the US presidents

DISLIKES: baths, little brothers, spelling homework, losing at anything, cleaning up

JACKSON

LIKES: Jesus, dirt, cars, dancing, eating, diet coke, helping, saying the prayer before dinner, trucks, food (all of it), our dog Chloe

DISLIKES: big brothers, wearing undies, brushing teeth, waking up in the morning